I’ve got some questions for all of the people on the conservative side of the political aisle. Are you tired yet of being called racists? Are you tired of being told you’re part of some kind of war on women? Are you tired of being told you are a homophobe? Are you tired of the same old discourteous and rude attitudes and insults being directed at you by liberals who just can’t stand the fact that someone might view something a little bit differently than them?
Well I’m very sorry to say that it is never going to go away until liberalism is completely and totally defeated. I know, I know. That leading paragraph made it sound like I had some special way to just get rid of the problem but let’s face it; there are plenty of liberals around and quite frankly sometimes they are not very friendly people. That’s why they can’t restrain themselves from jumping to the kinds of insulting behavior they seem to take towards people who oppose them. And while I have no magic secret to make them go away so that the rest of us, the sane people, can just peacefully get on with our lives, I have to say “the hell with it!” if they are here and they are obnoxious, why not have some fun messing with them?
Now, there is something that has to be understood. For the purpose of this discussion there are two major kinds of liberals. There are the rank-and-file liberals and the rabid liberals.
The rank-and-file liberals are what some would call, “low information voters,” and things of that sort. For the most part they aren’t bad people. But for one reason or another—usually related to things like MSNBC—they’ve fallen into the leftist propaganda tricks. I know several people who used to belong to this category but after having certain things pointed out to them they changed their minds and started to view politics with some kind of rational sense. I, as a matter of fact, used to be one of those kinds of liberals. Rational people rather resent being lied to and as long as someone has the ability to think they can be brought to see the light.
Then there are the liberals who are the real driving force behind liberalism. They are the leaders. They are usually surrounded by rabid supporters who couldn’t generate a rational argument if their lives depended on it. They are all about emotions and force and never about thought. For many reasons I will not go into here, I consider them to be typically insane. Unfortunately they are also the people who are currently in power in Washington. The entire Democrat party and about half of the Republicans (establishment types) fall into this category, to a greater or lesser degree.
If you find yourself talking to someone who you suspect is liberal it is wise to keep your patience for a bit to see if they respond to reason. Show them hard facts if they are to hand. Don’t try to think for them. Let them think for themselves and they just might come to some sense. If you find yourself dealing with the second of these two in some social capacity, I have found the following a great way to deal with them if they decide to attack. I wouldn’t recommend it to be used on many of the rank-and-file types unless they happen to be giving you some particular kind of trouble. Just because someone is liberal doesn’t mean they are a jerk but as in gun safety, you should verify your target.
In my article, “The anti-Liberal Technique: Part 1” I wrote about how liberals will name something and make it sound all warm and fuzzy; as if it were a government program that nobody in their right mind would want to oppose. “The Great Society” or “A New Beginning” or maybe even, “The Great Leap Forward” are fantastic examples. I also mentioned how the liberals like to use such titles to make people who oppose them look kind of nutty or extreme.
This could be about some program having to do with race, or equal opportunity and rights for the poor, or dealing with illegal immigrants, or really, just about any issue involving a lot of emotion. I had one of these conversations just the other day about anti-discrimination laws where I used this technique and it was a very gratifying success. For the sake of demonstration I’m going to use an issue that is of ultimate importance to everybody, everywhere. I’m going to talk about, “The Defense of Cute, Fuzzy Little Kittens Act.”
Let’s say you’re having a happy conversation with someone on Facebook and the subject has just turned to politics. You get some snarky smart ass liberal looking for a fight who asks you…
Liberal: “Are you for “The Defense of Little Kittens Act?”
You: “No, I’m not.”
Liberal: “So you hate little kittens.”
DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! The trouble starts here! This person is about to launch a full attack against you.
This is where you have to keep your wits about you. Don’t be flustered. Don’t get angry. From here on out just assume that’s the liberal’s job. Above all, DON’T TAKE THE DEFENSIVE STANCE! DO NOT; UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ACCEPT THE PREMISE!!! You know it’s a false one so don’t behave otherwise. The objective here is to throw it back in their face, while all the while keeping your cool. If you can bring it off, you’ll impress other thinking people around you. You’ll be the object of admiration from your conservative friends and family. You might even get laid; although, honestly, that hasn’t happened to me as a direct result of this yet, and I’m certainly not giving any guarantees on the matter, I’m still holding out hope.
Here’s your response…
You: “Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I endorse whatever delusion you think is the opposite.”
I have to say that if there is anybody with any ability at all to think rationally, within the sound of your voice when you say this, they will approve. You’ll get some “likes” for certain. And while it won’t do anything to change the rabid liberal’s mind (most of the time that’s impossible anyway) it will be obvious even to him that you are a truly formidable foe and it will soften him up a bit. More often than not they will pause for a fairly long time because they’ve just been caught off guard (they expect you to try and deny it) and have to collect themselves. Usually they will just repeat…
Liberal: “So you hate little kittens.”
You could almost picture a question mark there, as if they’ve lost some certainty. The amount of certainty they’ve lost is proportional to the length of the pause. They might even rephrase it slightly to try and seem as if they are saying something different but it will almost always amount to the same kind of thing. Either way your response will be something to the effect of…
You: “You know what? I think it might be you that hates little kittens.” (In effect you’re invading his territory, which is where the fight should be.)
Liberal: “What? It’s YOU that doesn’t want a law to defend the little kittens!”
You: “Yes, but that only means the little kittens don’t need to be defended from me. I think maybe you’re afraid of what YOU might do to little kittens and need a law to restrict YOU because of what YOU might do to them.”
There is actually a pattern of human nature to back this line of logic up. Do you think Rosie O’Donnell wants gun control laws to keep you from owning a gun? Maybe, but I think deep down she knows she’s a raving lunatic who is out of control of her own behavior, just enough to sense that it is her who shouldn’t have a gun. Think about this; it’s an irrational fear that someone is going to kill someone with a gun which they use as a reason to ban them. If it’s in Rosie’s head enough for her to say it, it must somehow also apply to her because she is the one saying people use guns to kill people. Whether this pattern of human nature is actually true or not, or even if you believe it or not, this is a line of logic that seems to work and so liberals have some serious trouble with it. I guarantee you’re going to get some interesting and disjointed responses from its use if you can act as if it is absolute truth. The liberal will usually follow with something like…
Liberal: “That doesn’t make sense.” (Or something of that nature.)
You: “Sure it does. Think about it. I don’t need a law to tell me not to be mean to little kittens. Apparently you need a law that tells you not to be mean to little kittens.” (You might be tempted to mention how much you like kittens here. Don’t do it! Keep the attention on him.)
Liberal: “Wrong. That’s just so illogical!”
You: “Apparently I’m right. You seem to think people are evil and need laws to restrain them from abusing little kittens. I assume that you’re a person. Therefore according to you, you’re evil. Therefore YOU need a law to restrain YOU from abusing little kittens because you obviously don’t know better yourself.”
See what’s happened here? He’s on defense. You aren’t. This is usually the point where they give up. But if they don’t…
Liberal: “You’re wrong.” Or “You’re an asshole.” Or “That doesn’t make any sense.” Or “By that logic…” It will be something of that nature usually.
You: “Why don’t you just confess? There’s obviously something there bothering your conscience that makes you think you need laws to control your behavior towards little kittens. Why don’t you just fess up to it? You’ll feel better.”
If you keep this kind of approach up, never yielding an inch from that point and behaving in every demonstrable way you are certain of it, they’ll give up shortly enough. Accolades from those who have witnessed it will come from all around. This not only works well on various social media but it also might have some application in face to face debates; though I’ve never tested it.
No matter what happens though, if you keep your cool, don’t expect any kind of logic from rabid liberals, and don’t take the defensive, you’ll have some serious fun. And while you will likely never convince the rabid liberal you’re conversing with, there is a good chance other people who witness it will be convinced.
And that’s what it’s all about.