Saturday, August 3, 2013

RAND PAUL HATES KITTENS!!!!


Yes it's true. The Republican senator from Kentucky has come out as a full blown psychotic hater of those irresistibly cute adorable soft cuddly and totally defenseless kittens. Apparently he just wants them to starve because his vote blocked passage of a bill which would have taken billions of dollars from the top 1% to ensure that kittens are fed all across the country.

Mr. Paul's vote yesterday against the little heard of "Defense of Kittens Act" shows his real stripes as an unquestionable animal hater. It is unclear how long he has held the anti-kitten views that he has but those close to the GOP senator say it apparently traces back through several generations of the Paul family.



"It's not uncommon to find animal hatred like this on the right side of the isle," Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer commented after the bill's failure late yesterday evening. "At least that's the only reason I can think of to oppose a badly needed common sense pet reform bill like this."

That is a question we'd all like to have answered. Why do Republicans hate kittens so much?

Note: Be sure, absolutely certain, that you don't read the highlighted fine print below!

A person on Senator Paul's staff had mentioned that the senator was going to vote against this act because on page 2,793, paragraph c, subsection b-12, calls for the brutal mass genocide of about fifty-seven million American dog owners and the automatic enslavement of one hundred forty two million people who have never owned a cat.